A few months ago my life was a mess. My marriage was falling apart and I was emotionally drained. I can admit that a lot of the problems I was going through were based on my own actions and I take full responsibility for the mistakes I made. Then something happened. I decided to finally accept an invite from an old friend. She had asked me previously to attend her group and I always found reasons not to go. The main reason was because it was at a church and I had huge reservations about entering a church even though she swore it was not a "God thing". I questioned how God could be. If there was a God, why was he not taking care of me and my family? God is supposed to provide and take care of you. But my life was a total wreck and everyday it was getting worse. There could be no God that would do that.
But I agreed to attend this group to see what it was all about. After all, it couldn't kill me, right? So I went. I sat and listened to the speaker talk about meal planning. I didn't really contribute anything to the conversation or really think I would go back. And no, it was not too much of a religious activity. We prayed before we ate and again before we left, but that was about the extent of anything having to do with God. And even though I left there not really feeling a connection to this new group of women and moms I decided right then that I would go back. If for nothing else, just to get out of the house for a few hours.
At home nothing was changing. My marriage was even worse and my kids were resentful that Daddy was not at home anymore. Christmas had just passed and I lay in bed one night realizing that it was the first Christmas in over 10 years that I had not spent with my husband. He had been deployed three times in our marriage and had missed birthdays and anniversaries, but this was the first Christmas we had not spend together since we were a couple. And this was at our own will! How could we have gone from wanting so much to be together all the time and missing each other over the deployments to deciding to spend this holiday apart? So I did something that I had not done in a very long time. I prayed. I cried as I told God what I wanted and how unfair it was that this was happening. I asked God to prove what he was. To show me. To make me believe.
At our next meetings the topics began to change. The speakers told us about honoring our husbands and our marriage through Christ. At home things began to improve. Brent (my husband) came home. We were talking and listening to each other and my girls were happy to have their Daddy home. I asked Brent to go to church with me. He laughed at me and that was the end of the conversation. I still had a lot of questions and over the next few days questioned that maybe it was just a coincidence that I was getting my family back and not the conversation I had in my bed that night a few weeks before. So I asked God to show me more (if there was a God this would be simple right?).
Our next meeting took a huge turn towards talking about God. Another coincidence? No. Not for a second did I think that was a coincidence. I asked God to show me and prove to me what He could do. And He did! I asked God to help me get my family back and I got them back. I asked God to show me more and He did. I sat and listened in almost disbelief. The friend who had invited me to that first meeting months ago explained why this was our topic. In all there were cancellations and other circumstances that were causing the group to become more of a bible study. I asked God to make me believe and he did. He showed me what he could do and he was showing me how powerful he was and I knew right then it was only the beginning.
When my husband came home that night I told him about the topic of the day. He didn't really have much to say. He told me I didn't have to go back if I didn't want to. I didn't say anything to him about what I had asked of God or that God was showing and proving himself to me. Honestly, I thought he would think I was nuts! But a few days later I got a text message from my husband telling me he thought I should continue going. That he thought it had been really good for me and for us. He even told me to go buy a bible (which I did). I asked him again, a few days later, if he would consider going to church as a family. Again, he laughed and that was the end of the conversation.
I know God didn't do any of this on his own. I could have prayed and prayed to have my husband and family back, but if I wouldn't have acted on what I wanted nothing would have happened. At least, not in the way it did. Quoting my friend and speaker from today: We have to be active participants in what we want and what we are asking for. God gave me the strength to bring my husband home. He gave me the strength to go to that first meeting. And if the speakers that were scheduled to speak hadn't have canceled then our topics wouldn't have turned towards the Bible. I feel strong and my life is peaceful and good. I believe and have faith in God.
I know I have a lot to learn and I can't wait.
Now, for my husband...
But I agreed to attend this group to see what it was all about. After all, it couldn't kill me, right? So I went. I sat and listened to the speaker talk about meal planning. I didn't really contribute anything to the conversation or really think I would go back. And no, it was not too much of a religious activity. We prayed before we ate and again before we left, but that was about the extent of anything having to do with God. And even though I left there not really feeling a connection to this new group of women and moms I decided right then that I would go back. If for nothing else, just to get out of the house for a few hours.
At home nothing was changing. My marriage was even worse and my kids were resentful that Daddy was not at home anymore. Christmas had just passed and I lay in bed one night realizing that it was the first Christmas in over 10 years that I had not spent with my husband. He had been deployed three times in our marriage and had missed birthdays and anniversaries, but this was the first Christmas we had not spend together since we were a couple. And this was at our own will! How could we have gone from wanting so much to be together all the time and missing each other over the deployments to deciding to spend this holiday apart? So I did something that I had not done in a very long time. I prayed. I cried as I told God what I wanted and how unfair it was that this was happening. I asked God to prove what he was. To show me. To make me believe.
At our next meetings the topics began to change. The speakers told us about honoring our husbands and our marriage through Christ. At home things began to improve. Brent (my husband) came home. We were talking and listening to each other and my girls were happy to have their Daddy home. I asked Brent to go to church with me. He laughed at me and that was the end of the conversation. I still had a lot of questions and over the next few days questioned that maybe it was just a coincidence that I was getting my family back and not the conversation I had in my bed that night a few weeks before. So I asked God to show me more (if there was a God this would be simple right?).
Our next meeting took a huge turn towards talking about God. Another coincidence? No. Not for a second did I think that was a coincidence. I asked God to show me and prove to me what He could do. And He did! I asked God to help me get my family back and I got them back. I asked God to show me more and He did. I sat and listened in almost disbelief. The friend who had invited me to that first meeting months ago explained why this was our topic. In all there were cancellations and other circumstances that were causing the group to become more of a bible study. I asked God to make me believe and he did. He showed me what he could do and he was showing me how powerful he was and I knew right then it was only the beginning.
When my husband came home that night I told him about the topic of the day. He didn't really have much to say. He told me I didn't have to go back if I didn't want to. I didn't say anything to him about what I had asked of God or that God was showing and proving himself to me. Honestly, I thought he would think I was nuts! But a few days later I got a text message from my husband telling me he thought I should continue going. That he thought it had been really good for me and for us. He even told me to go buy a bible (which I did). I asked him again, a few days later, if he would consider going to church as a family. Again, he laughed and that was the end of the conversation.
I know God didn't do any of this on his own. I could have prayed and prayed to have my husband and family back, but if I wouldn't have acted on what I wanted nothing would have happened. At least, not in the way it did. Quoting my friend and speaker from today: We have to be active participants in what we want and what we are asking for. God gave me the strength to bring my husband home. He gave me the strength to go to that first meeting. And if the speakers that were scheduled to speak hadn't have canceled then our topics wouldn't have turned towards the Bible. I feel strong and my life is peaceful and good. I believe and have faith in God.
I know I have a lot to learn and I can't wait.
Now, for my husband...
By Melissa F.
Posts
Melissa! I love this... proof positive that we never know what our neighbor is going through. I've been through this exact same thing- our stories are quite similar. Thank you for opening up- feel more connected to you and glad we are sisters in Christ. Love, Tia =)
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